By Whitney Dineen
Publication Date: April 1st 2019
Genres: Adult, Comedy, Contemporary, Romance
“The Masterson clan is back and funnier than ever in this delightful tale. Dineen’s comedic timing is pure gold!” -Jennifer Peel, Bestselling Author of My Not So Wicked Stepbrother
Catriona Masterton’s family is not normal.
Her father has a passion for taxidermized animals that he dresses in the family plaid. Her mother has a penchant for hoarding kitchen gadgets and other oddities that leave her sanity in question. Her grandmother, Nan, has never met a swearword she doesn’t like.
Despite all this, party-planner Cat leaves the hustle and bustle of New York City to move back to her tiny hometown outside of Chicago. She even buys her parents’ farm with plans to turn the barn into a stylish wedding venue.
Enter House to Home Television’s Renovation Brothers. Cat gets accepted as one of the show’s projects, bringing two gorgeous brothers to her doorstep. Unbeknownst to Cat, the TV hosts are behind a secret her newfound boyfriend will go to great lengths to keep hidden.
With all the upheaval—her parents’ chaotic move, her grandmother joyfully causing trouble wherever she goes, a film crew documenting her home being torn apart, and her boyfriend’s odd behavior—Cat’s starting to wonder if signing up for a reality TV show was a big mistake.
Will the renovation be a success? Or will secrecy and jealousy make Cat regret the day she packed her bags and left New York?
Find out in this hysterical tale packed with small-town charm, family drama, and true love.
I was once so in love with Sam Hawking I couldn’t imagine surviving a day without him—until he was gone. Then there were over five thousand days without him, but who’s counting? How I managed to draw so many breaths away from him is anybody’s guess.
To be loved by Sam was like housing another life force under my skin. My whole being was vibrant and full when we were together. I was bigger, stronger, more determined, more everything when we were a couple.
As I dry my hair, I have a vision of a teenage Sam rubbing my ponytail across his cheek. He told me it was like silk. We were sitting in his parents’ old farm truck, Betty, the first time he did it. It was one of those moments when you’d swear time just stopped. Every one of my senses had been working on overdrive. I could tell you the exact color of the sky—a deep, cerulean blue with wispy white clouds stretched out in long horizontal lines as though they were lying down to take a nap. The autumn air smelled crisp and clean, and the leaves on the trees ranged from a burnt gold to deep blood-red, the orange so intense it looked like little bits of sunshine had fallen out of the sky to grace our landscape. Hints that winter was right around the corner. Sam Hawking has turned me into a poet.
It has been less than two months since I laid eyes on him again, after a fourteen-year-long hiatus. I haven’t known Sam as an adult for long, but I can tell you this: I know him. I know his heart like I know my own. He might have a few new lines and a bushel of new experiences, but his core is the same. I strongly suspect his soul is the other half of my own. Nan’s stroke brought me clarity that only one man made me feel like this. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the man I was pledged to marry. It was Sam. It’s always been Sam.
I’ve agreed to let him court me, but not picking up where we left off as teenagers. He needs to get to know the adult me. Our breakup changed me in ways that has rendered me a different person. Even though we share our entire childhoods and our lives are entwined on an almost microscopic level, we are not who we once were.
The day of our high school graduation had felt like the pinnacle of my life. My brain hummed with the untapped possibilities for what was to come. So much living was ahead of us. The hours between accepting our diplomas straight through our family parties flew by with supersonic speed. When everyone finally went home, we lay snuggled on a blanket together under the stars. I wanted to talk about our future. So did Sam.
I let him start. That’s when I found out he wanted to go off to college unencumbered. He said he wanted to find out who he was without being tied to who he’s always been. It was my first experience with the old “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse for being dumped. That experience put me on my guard for any other romantic entanglement. Until that night, I thought we had planned a life that totally revolved around each other. Secretly, he’d made other arrangements for himself and it broke my heart.
As the years passed—and I grew up—I understood Sam’s motivation. Even though I didn’t agree with him at the time, and I certainly didn’t condone how he went about it, our breakup was a gift to me. I learned how to stand on my own feet, tapping into strength I didn’t know I possessed. I realized potential I might not have otherwise known.
Sam knocks on the basement door just as I’m pulling my sweater over my head. I call out, “Come on down! I’m almost ready.”
Relatively Sane (Book 2)
Relatively Normal (Book 1)
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Whitney loves to laugh, play with her kids, bake, and eat french fries -- not always in that order.
Whitney is a multi-award-winning author of romcoms, non-fiction humor, and middle reader fiction. Basically, she writes whatever the voices in her head tell her to.
She lives in the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her husband, Jimmy, where they raise children, chickens, and organic vegetables.
From one bookaholic to another, I hope I’ve helped you find your next fix.
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